Greetings, fellow poultry enthusiasts, or should I say, “egg-ceptional” humans? Don’t unfollow me please. Today, we’re going to dive headfirst into the hilarious world of raising chickens. If you’ve ever considered turning your backyard into a feathered fiesta, or if you’re already knee-deep in feathers and coop cleaning, you’ll relate to the egg-sasperating adventures I’m about to share.
1. Chicken Math: The New ‘Common Core’
You thought math was tough in school? Try calculating the number of chickens you need. First, it’s just a “baker’s dozen,” and before you know it, you’re considering a second coop to accommodate your newfound feathered friends. But don’t worry, chicken math is a lot more forgiving and way more fun than algebra! I can tell you this firsthand since I homeschool some of my children. My husband agreed to three chickens. Within 6 weeks I had 12 chickens. I now have 45 chickens. Because chicken math.
2. The Great Escape Artists
Chickens are notorious escape artists, and they approach it with the cunning of a secret agent. I’ve seen hens execute daring daylight breakouts like they’re auditioning for a spy movie. Be prepared for regular renditions of “The Great Chicken Escape,” complete with feathered fugitives, a high-speed chase, and your neighbors giving you strange looks. One night one of our kids came knocking on our door to tell us she heard a chicken outside her window. I think, “impossible that chicken coop is Fort Knox”. Low and behold there’s a chicken in our driveway bocking away. To this day we have no idea how she escaped or why at 1am she decided to sing the egg song outside the window. By the way – there were no eggs laid that night nor any other chickens out.
3. Chicken Fashion: A Thing We Never Knew We Needed
When it comes to fashion, chickens are way ahead of the curve. They’ve got natural tuxedos (black and white feathers), punk-rock mohawks (Silkies), and feathered pantaloons (Polish chickens). Forget Paris Fashion Week; your coop is where it’s at!
4. Coop Cleaning: A Never-Ending Task
Raising chickens means facing the never-ending struggle of coop cleaning. It’s like trying to tidy up after a toddler’s birthday party every single day. Just when you think you’ve got it spotless, your feathered friends decide to redecorate with fresh bedding. Expect to become an expert in chicken poop disposal – a skill no one ever adds to their resume.
5. Chicken TV: The Ultimate Reality Show
Who needs Netflix when you have Chicken TV? Spend hours watching your feathered friends peck at bugs, have intense conversations with the neighbor’s cat, and perform spontaneous dust baths that make you question your own personal hygiene choices.
6. Chicken Therapy
Forget expensive therapists; chickens are the ultimate emotional support animals. They listen to your woes without judgment, provide a daily dose of adorable antics, and even lay eggs to cheer you up. Just try to stay grumpy when you’re holding a warm, freshly laid egg. It’s impossible.
7. The Egg Hunt: Easter Every Day
Every morning is like an Easter egg hunt when you’re raising chickens. But instead of colorful plastic eggs filled with candy, you’re hunting for freshly laid eggs hidden in the most unexpected places. It’s a daily adventure that keeps you on your toes.
8. Chicken Shenanigans
Chickens have a knack for getting into the most ridiculous situations. Whether they’re perched on top of the swing set, pretending to be raptors from Jurassic Park, or attempting to master yoga poses that would put a contortionist to shame, their antics will leave you laughing or crying or both.
Raising chickens is a cluck-tastic adventure filled with laughter, love, and a whole lot of feathers. It’s like living in your very own poultry-themed sitcom, complete with quirky characters and unforgettable moments. So, if you’re considering adding some feathered friends to your life, go ahead and take the plunge into the hilarious world of chicken-raising. Just be prepared for a few egg-sasperating adventures along the way!
Freedom Pines Farm 